Ainsley "Mila" Dutton

AINSLEY “MILA” DUTTON

“Busy Bee”

March 14, 1985 – September 4, 2023

Family and friends are invited to join a celebration of Mila’s life Friday September 8, 2023 @ Pheasant Glen Golf Resort 3 – 6pm Appies and beverages will be served.

Mila was our Busy Bee from the time she was a toddler until September 4, 2023. Born on March 14, 1985 Mila was a beautiful baby with painted perfect eyebrows and beautiful eyes topped by a mop of curly red hair.  She and her big sister would often draw a “your babies are so beautiful” comment in the grocery store.

Mila was also a patient and loving soul who taught everyone who took the time to get to know her, perseverance, joy of life, compassion and how to laugh. And there were many who chose to become true friends with a little girl who grew into a young woman despite the ravages of Rett Syndrome. Beginning in her third year, this horrible affliction gradually and insidiously stole her ability to speak and then to walk, but never her sense of humour or her ability to swim. Doctors whispered warnings to mom Lynn and dad Craig that she would not live to be 10 and that her family should seriously consider institutionalizing her. Mom and Dad ignored that advice as did Mila and older sister Brandi.

Like a bumble bee does not look like it could fly, Mila did not necessarily look like she could swim. But once she got into the water, beware the doubter, she swam like a shark! She would tread water while she chose an unsuspecting target and then, circling that victim, she moved in for the kill, sweeping her arm across the water drenching the target. Many a time we were forced to intervene and apologize for the little girl with the disabilities splashing bigger kids and even adults. Most recognized that Mila just wanted to play but some including the odd “adult” chose to complain. Tough break was Mila’s view.

Bumble bees are important pollinators of wild flowering plants and crops. As generalist foragers, they do not depend on any one flower type. However, some plants do rely on bumble bees to achieve pollination. Mila was a generalist in her collection of friends. She did not restrict her choices to one age, one sex, colour or abilities. She pollinated understanding and awareness that disabilities do not diminish the person, that sometimes the courage to fight was evident in shy smiles, slow laboured repetitions, and beautiful hugs. Or that sometimes the battle to be heard or understood meant screams or even a good swat to the sibling or parent that was not paying attention.

Mila loved Disney movie musicals. She has perhaps the most complete collection outside the Disney archives. Dozens of VHS cassettes and machines were played until they fell apart or seized. The Radio shack “extra warranty” program had Mila flagged as a frequent flyer. First her siblings and then her nieces became Disney movie experts. Her cousins would disappear and be found sitting with Mila watching the Little Mermaid again and again.

Certain people and certain communities were more in tune with disabled persons. But only one entire community, and all the people in it, was wonderfully open and understanding to Mila. That community is Humboldt Saskatchewan. In Humboldt Mila was not the kid with the disability. She was the kid with a funny sense of humour who roamed the school hallways seeking out the classrooms of her younger siblings. Then yelling out their names just to let them know she was keeping track of them. Teachers, other staff and students all smiled and carried on. She was greeted on the street by people we did not know when with her family. She was welcomed at community events, she was included. This is why her family has a special spot in their hearts for everything and everyone Humboldt.

Mila spent her earliest years in two other great prairie communities, Estevan Saskatchewan and Rapid City Manitoba. In Estevan she was surrounded by 3 siblings and 8 cousins and 2 sets of aunts and uncles and Poppa Bill and Grandma donna. In Rapid City she had 4 cousins and 2 more sets of aunts and uncles and Gogoo Steve and Babu Elsie. Family embraced Mila and she was included in every activity including snowmobiling, fishing, beach time, water skiing, camping and more.

The team of older sister Brandi, younger sister Abbey and baby brother William joined head coach Lynn and assistant coach Craig in a whirlwind of activities. Mila was no stranger to skating rinks, dance studios or ski lodges. She was a fan of dance competitions, hockey games, speed skating and particularly of golf. Mila had many exciting and funny golf cart experiences. Her siblings would wrap bungees cords around her stomach and bungee her into the middle of the golf cart seat so she “would not fall out”. Safety first was the family motto.

One memorable Sunday family golf outing is a family legend. Mila, sitting alone in the golf cart reached out with her left foot and hand stomping down the gas pedal and grabbing the steering wheel as she ripped down the fairway. A panicked but speedy pursuit eventually caught up to the “souped-up family golf cart”.

As a young adult Mila became enrolled in the Parksville Inclusion program. There she made many new friends. For 17 years she lived at the Gardens in Qualicum Beach where she was lovingly cared for by many compassionate careworkers and nurses. We know that they loved Mila too. It was not an easy task to take care of Mila and everyone did their best. We will be forever grateful to them. Our Mila made friends wherever she travelled.

Mila died as a result of a diabetic coma. She was a fighter for the ages. She fought Rett Syndrome, survived a two year Covid lock down and isolation from her loved ones, (and they from her) and emerged victorious form her first  encounter with diabetes; but this time the road back was just too long. Mila passed away surrounded by her family in the Intensive Care Unit of Nanaimo Regional General Hospital.

If you wish to honour Mila’s fight please consider a donation to the International Rett Syndrom Association a dynamic driving force behind genetic research that has a chance to find a cure for this horrible affliction.

https://www.rettsyndrome.org/get-involved/fundraise/

Mila was predeceased by her Grandfather “Googoo” Steve Dowhan, Uncle Stephen Dowhan, and Grandmother Donna Dutton.

She is survived by her Grandmother “Babu” Elsie Dowhan, Grandfather “Poppa” Bill Dutton, Parents Lynn and Craig Dutton, Siblings Brandi Dutton (spouse Damien Vandenberg) niece Paisley Vandenberg, Eva Dutton Youngberg, Abbey Dutton (spouse Shay Kuebler) nephew Oscar Kuebler, William Dutton (spouse Elizabeth Hanley), Aunt Deborah Dowhan, Aunt Patricia Johnson (spouse Alan Ursel) cousins Josie Lynn and Andrew, Uncle Scott Dutton (spouse Debra Dutton) cousins Liam, Jordan, MacKenzie and Josh, Uncle Bradley Dutton (spouse Sandra Dutton) cousins Cassie, Arlann, Tanner and Amy, Uncle Drew Dutton (spouse Oliver Ivanac) cousins Elise and Zoe, cousins Carver Dowhan and Cole Dowhan.